I posted the above story yesterday.
But looking at it, it feels incomplete.

Something in me yearns to know that the message is clear. That those seeing it are really understanding the essence of what I’m trying to share.

If I look around at the world today it feels… lost. 

I feel lost. 

I feel like I didn’t do enough, build enough, share enough, speak out enough throughout my journey. And now here we are and it’s too late, I should have done more. I COULD have done more. 

I know this is a detrimental line of thought: Could have, would have, should have. They are destructive thought patterns if we get lost in them. And so all that is left for me to do is to start. Start sharing, speaking, and doing. Start getting over my insecurities, my doubts of “what do I actually have to say that is of importance?” To follow my intuition, my emotional journey, my conversations, and share.

The other day I was visiting a friend and his wife and I were chatting about the sharing of our art, our writings, our selves and the question of why does it matter?

The conclusion I came to that night was that if we are privileged enough to have the inspiration and opportunity to share our stories and the stories of those around us, maybe the question isn’t “what makes me important enough to share anything?” But rather “What part of myself can I share that might make others feel understood and safe enough to share themselves?”

I wrote a creative piece once that ends in the following words:
“I write so that I may hear, I write so you may feel heard.”

When those words came to me I could feel them in my entire being, and every time I read them I feel the truth of them in my bones.

But what does it mean to ‘have a voice’? 

This question has been haunting my thoughts this past month as I witness the world sit in silence against acts of violence that are so atrocious my mind can’t even process them fully. I have pondered this question every time I see posts, stories, videos shared with the caption or hashtag “your silence is complicit”.

I have wondered this every time I have said or heard someone say “but what can we actually do”?”

Share.
Speak out.
Ask questions.

The more I ask myself the question of what it means to have a voice.
The louder the whisper in my soul gets, until it has slowly become a chant: 

Share.
Speak out.
Ask questions.

Speaking up doesn’t mean I need to know all the answers, on the contrary, I have found it is better to have none of the answers but always be searching for the right questions. Sharing has nothing to do with convincing someone else of anything.

Speaking up is the no longer shrugging off the things that don’t make sense to us and assuming it’s “all good”.
For too long I have been silent around things that really should be questioned.

So I come back to the feeling of incompleteness with my previous share, because the depth of frustration that I have around being met with resistance, removal or attempt at silencing when I have asked questions rather than a willingness to enter into the curiosity of discussion is growing.

I can no longer sit in silence and hope for the best when the ‘powers that be’ make decisions that seem contrary to what’s best for the people. I can no longer be ok with “I guess it just wasn’t in alignment” when leaders shut me out because I want to know more of the thinking behind the scenes.

For too long we have let others speak for us.
For too long we have been silent as a people.

And I can only speak for myself when I say, I am no longer ok with so called leaders or teachers preaching their opinions on what is best, and their visions of how things should be if there is no room for questions.
No room for those of us it is apparently best for to inquire about the how and the why.

So, while I don’t quite know yet what I even have to say, I do know that I must share my voice.
I will share, with the simple hope that it may be the encouragement one other person needed to share their voice, and I may hear another. Or for those who can’t that maybe, by some miracle, they will feel heard.